Wednesday, October 20, 2010

conquer or crush

Wow... I woke up this morning feeling like I could conquer the world.  WTF happened.

I personally don't care for when work has an "everyone" gatherings - be it meetings, a celebration, etc.  It's not that I don't like what's happening, it's that I don't feel comfortable in the setting.  Everyone seems to have their "group or click", their comfort zone.  I don't.  It's almost like high school all over again.   Being there, but belonging nowhere.  It's okay, I can find a place to sit amongst the group.... most often I slip in where I can.  I think I would be fine with it if my name weren't called for something.  That really sets my emotions running.  You hear people clapping for others then when your name is's kind of like eh....clap, clap. 

I know I am not well liked at work.  I am used to that.  I think people are afraid to approach me.  People are scared of me. Why?  I don't know... my job is to do what they want, not what i want.  It's their vision, not mine.  That's what I do.

I have never been popular nor will I ever be, and quite frankly I am okay with that.  So I really don't know why I let this stuff get to me like it did this morning.  I don't know - I suppose after 25 years I hope I make a difference or add value - maybe that's where I really have the doubt. 

1 comment:

  1. You keep doing what you are doing and remember it's WHO knows you that matters most. I know it doesn't make you feel better. But you personally know WHO in your life matters. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place. I LOVE YOU!